Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
