Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
