This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize