gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
