I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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