Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
