first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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