drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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