Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
