I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
did you just send me my own nude
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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