the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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