I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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