I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
