1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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