He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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