What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
