I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
God, I missed his penis.
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