somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't think brook has ever known best
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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