I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
