Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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