his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize