The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
