she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
