But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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