I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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