oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
