Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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