next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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