It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
sarcasm needs its own font
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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