Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't deserve a penis
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
