She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
