ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
