And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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