i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
