Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
