I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
