bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
