your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
