Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
