No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We need to rekindle our bromance
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
