So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
