Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
