She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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