Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
