Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
