so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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