That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
