That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
MIDGETS
????
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
