I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
