I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
