I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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