I think i sorta joined a cult last night
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
