you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
