Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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