i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
how does that bad decision feel?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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