1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
why do cheetos always look like penises
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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