Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My friends, they love my intelligence
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sorry about my life...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
