My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
