About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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