dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I want to stick my p in your. b.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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