Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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