Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
