That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
In America we eat man semen.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
