there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
