How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
