is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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